Overflowing Joy

I'm sitting here looking at my computer screen trying to figure out just how to explain all this. I can't quite seem to fit into words the way that I'm feeling. Anyone that knows me can tell you rarely am I at a loss for words, I usually have too many words. However this is a different kind of thing because I'm trying to describe my feelings and emotions and love for Someone that cannot be described or summarized into words. I have this, 'trying to fit a size 16 body into a size 12 pair of jeans' bursting at the seams, overflowing, excitement, love, and joy for my Lord Jesus Christ and I just cannot seem to express it. I literally want to shake people and scream at them "WAKE UP!!! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO JESUS IS???"

However, today in bible study we learned that we need to be gentle with our testimonies. I suppose that is the right way to go about it, but I just feel such an urgency to tell people, to make them understand, to help them see what Joy there is to be found in loving the Lord. I want everyone, not just the people I know and love, but EVERYONE, to know what this feels like. To know that no matter what, you are loved unconditionally, that you are NEVER alone, that you have someone who cheers you on when you are flying high and doing well, and someone whose arms are there for you to fall in when you crash. Someone to give you hope and wash away your fears, and someone to shower you with grace. Most importantly you have a Father in Heaven who wants to spend eternity with you in a perfect and wonderful place where there is nothing but goodness.

If you don't know Jesus, email me; jgiffordii@wi.rr.com and I will tell you all about Him and all the goodness that He wants for you. If you do know Jesus, Hallelujah, and share this blog post with others so that together we can reach people for the Lord. EVERYONE should experience this Overflowing Joy, EVERYONE should experience everlasting life in Heaven with the One True God.

Learning

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your site, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

I talk a lot, always have, I'm friendly, very socially oriented and out going. I can remember when I was younger my mom always having to tell me to think before I speak. Apparently God is trying to teach me the same lesson, however, it's much more humbling when God is teaching you something than when your mom is.

The hardest part is the people I've hurt with my words are people I love and I don't even realize I've done it until God convicts me that I own someone an apology. It's terribly humbling to have to do that.

God keeps showing me that He is my Teacher and that He wants great things for me if onlky I will listen and learn. There are areas of my life that He's been trying to teach me things for years, and yet I just cannot seem to let go and let God. I keep trying to do things my own way. Not surprising I keep failing on my own as well.

Psalm 19:14 will have to become part of my every day prayers and in the forefront of my mind so that my words are pleasing to God and not hurtful to others.

Battling Darkness

Today is my birthday, I have spent the most amazing day immersed in the presence of God in my art studio. Creating and praising God with praise and worship music and lifting my hands to Him. Praying and glorifying Him all day long. I have truly counted my blessings today and are in awe of how many there are.

Keep that in mind as I tell you this next part; I have an amazing family with 4 beautiful, amazing children. They have grown up so fast; too fast in fact, which has brought us to yet another new territory in the parenting trek. The "give them wings and let them fly" stage. I'm not sure how to do that. It was brought to my attention that we're not quite doing it right. It was a conversation done in love, a good conversation, one without raised voices and lots of listening to and hearing one another.

However, when I got off the phone and the conversation was over, doubts, bitterness and anger began to creep in. I started to feel my stomach churn and knot, thoughts of things I could have come back with to this comment or that comment. Then a still small voice said "these things are not true". I sat there and tried to pick apart what was not true and still the negativity was there. I could see the enemy trying to get a foot hold, baiting me to just wait up a little bit longer till I could spew these untruths and hurtful things at the very child I'd spoken so loving to not too long ago.

So often he sneaks in when we least expect it and can put those subtle little thoughts in our head and just lets you fester and build them all on your own while he just sits back and watches us self destruct. He can be so sly, and we have to really be on the ready and not let him get a foothold in our lives.

Not too long ago I read This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti and he gives such a descriptive picture of his version of demons that it is forever pierced in my mind. Each time I feel the presence of darkness, I have this picture of demons lurking in corners waiting to swoop in and reek havoc. This time, they weren't just lurking in the corners but perched on my shoulders waiting to dig their claws in. However, my God is bigger than they are, and as I tried to sort out the truth from the lies, a lyric to one of the songs I'd listened to today sung through the muddle of those ugly thoughts and reminded me of the love that was spoke through our conversation. I put on my ear buds, plugged it into iTunes and put that song on repeat. Soon, the ugliness of those thoughts were chased away and replaced with what should be there, striving for a common ground, working together, not blaming one another and speaking to one another in love.

Parenting is by far much harder than anything I have ever done in my whole life, and I don't think I'll ever be able to not have an opinion about the choices they will make in their lives. However, by the Grace of God I will learn to speak, or....not speak, in love.

Prayer

I cannot even count how many times a week I hear "pray for me/us" or I say those same words to someone else. Usually for me, I have to pray on the spot or I forget. I find myself saying little prayers throughout the day, but usually it's something directly related to the circumstances I'm in at that moment. Until of course I lay down to go to bed, then out comes the grocery list of things I forgot to pray for earlier in the day or things that come to me as I lay there. Most the time there is no Amen to my night time prayers because usually I fall asleep in the middle of it.

I wonder how many friends I'd have if that's how I conducted my relationship with them? Only calling when I had something I needed or wanted for me. Falling asleep during conversations all about me. I'm pretty sure they'd all get tired of that real quick, I know I would.

The last few weeks we've been having some big things going on in our household that truly are all out of our control. All we can do is wait......and pray. I have been in constant prayer about everything!!! Not only the usual circumstantial prayers but prayers for all the people involved in this situation, prayers for my family, prayers to bind demons, prayers for truth and so many more I cannot remember them all. Not only am I talking to Him daily and constantly but He talks to me daily as well. Subtle simple things that let me know He's there and He hears me.

So THIS is what a relationship with God feels like!!! That hunger for Him that I've been looking for that I could never quite get my finger on, has creeped in. I WANT to read my bible and not because it's the right thing to do. I want to pray and talk to Him and I can't wait to share with others all He's doing for me and has done.

Our sermon last Sunday was about being Thankful through the trials and storms in our lives. Sometimes that's a really hard thing to do. This time though I'm looking for all those things that are happening in the midst of it all and I'm finding so many things to be Thankful for. I can see God working through this situation and in the end I know that all things will be okay because He's in charge.

Yep, prayer is a powerful thing!!

Creative Arts Team

I'm most excited because I was asked to join a new team at church a couple weeks ago. It's called the Creative Arts Team. It's comprised of just a handful of us, the pastor, his wife, our worship team leader, and another member of the worship team, and myself.

I have to say, at first I had no clue why I was even included in this group because I am the only one that isn't part of the worship team. It made no sense to me. However, once it was explained what this was about it made perfect sense.

Our job is to do all the creative work behind the sermon. Helping create series logos, choosing appropriate music and videos and back drops. Also any type of prop or sermon enhancers as well.

The series we've started this all with is a series about worship that has been named "I heart...", hence the logo with the image of the heart that I created for the series.

One of the things that I've struggled with most as an artist is what does God want me to do with this talent he's blessed me with? How can I use it for His glory? Most of my art is not spiritual in nature unless lead by the Spirit to do so, which hasn't happened more than a handful of times. Not that I avoid it or anything, it's just the kind of art I do is more random and rarely has any deep personal meaning other than the fact that it's one of my creations.

So I'm excited for this opportunity to use my God given talent to honor Him and bless our church as well. I'm looking forward to seeing where all of this goes.

dreams

My church, Lakeland Community Church, is doing a series called "The Red Pill". Titled after the part in the movie the Matrix where Morpheus offers Neo the blue pill and life will remain as it is, or, take the Red Pill and see just how far the rabbit hole goes. Sounds a little "out there" doesn't it? I have to tell you though, it has been amazing to say the least. This series is all about the Spiritual Realm. Tapping into all the ways we can encounter God in our lives that maybe we hadn't given much thought to before. Also guidelines for us to know when it is "Of God" and not of the demonic. How things of the Spiritual Realm always affect the Natural Realm. Our Pastor, Josh Amstutz, has been brilliant in leading us through it. God has a true vessel to work through in Pastor Josh.

This past Sunday he spoke to us about listening to God through our dreams. As you read through the Bible how often did God use just that as ways to communicate to his people. He spoke to Mary through a dream, and Joseph, others through visions. The Bible is full of examples where God did just that. Why is it not still possible for Him to do the same thing today? Josh told us all we need to do is invite the Lord into our dreams, to focus on Him not only in our waking, but in our sleeping as well. I have to tell ya, I'm almost more excited now for the night to start as I am for the day!!

If you're curious and would like to check this series out you can always join us at Lakeland Community Church or you can listen to the messages either on the church website or on Itunes. Or of course you can always contact me and I'd be happy to tell you all about it. jgiffordii@wi.rr.com

Gods Time is not our time.

I got this book as a gift for my birthday in August of 2009. I tucked it in my "God Bag" and completely forgot about it. Well, about the same time this year I was digging through my "God Bag" to see if I could find a highlighter and low and behold here is this book.

Now mind you, had a read it a year ago, it would've been a good book, but I wouldn't have been ready for it. This year however, it was EXACTLY what I needed.

It talks about how God thinks of women and how He romances a woman's soul. How He thinks of us all as beautiful and what the bible says about what He wants us to know.

If you are a woman, you need to read this book, read it till you don't need it anymore and than pass it along to another woman who may need it.